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Rayeleen Gilbert » Hypnotherapist «
Passionate about Happiness NOW AT: YES 2 LIFE |
As Mother’s Day draws closer my thoughts began pondering Motherhood...
I love being a mum. I adore my children. Three of my own and three stepchildren aged 13-22. Motherhood is my greatest joy and therefore my greatest success. I clearly remember the day I fell to my knees after another miscarriage and prayed to God – “please let me be a mummy”. One year later I had my first experience of what I can only describe as ‘unconditional love’ as I cradled my newborn baby. I always felt loved and cared for by my own mother as well, so the word ‘Mother’ or the term ‘Mothering’ has always brought feelings of softness, warmth, nurturing and a profound love that can only be felt by a mother for her child. However, awareness of others experiences, including many of my own friends and clients, has revealed to me that this is not always the case at all. Some have suffered terribly at the hands of their own mothers and carry deep wounds often accompanied by rage and hatred towards them. I admit that it was quite shocking for me to realise that not all mothers feel love for their children and try and begin to understand how a mother can intentionally harm or kill her own child. However, as awareness flowers in my consciousness and in my heart, I feel compassion for perpetrator as well as the victim. Such pain they must be in. Just because one is a mother does not mean they suddenly have immunity to their own pain and suffering, or magically have their tortured and closed hearts unzipped. Mother or not, we can only love and nurture as purely, as richly and as deeply as we love and nurture ourselves. I believe we liken a mother’s love to that of God. We want to reconnect with our Source, the sacredness within ourselves. We want to belong. It is not so much the word mother, but the feeling it conjures up. Feeling soft, being held, belonging, tenderness, gentleness, being unconditionally loved. The closest earthly feeling we have to the way we imagine our Source. Mother Teresa did not carry all of those people in her womb but she nurtured them – she showed them love. There are men we call Mr Mum, because they are carrying out the perceived duties of a Mother. We call an animal and say come to mummy. The mum is the caregiver, the nurturer, and the one who offers love. Inside of every man and woman there is a little girl or boy who needs you to mother him or her first. Lets teach our children by way of example, by loving and nurturing ourselves first. They are observing us, they are learning. Children do not necessarily do what we say; they will do what we do. I have witnessed many a Mummy martyr: putting they’re needs last, sacrificing for children and family, denying joy, and giving their lives away. Feeling empowered by their thriftiness, on how little they demand from their husbands, children, or from life. Some burying their love of beauty or fashion or sport. Using birthday money for practicalities, such as running shoes and groceries. Rejecting offers of help, from babysitting to friendship. Is it a coincidence that they are also depressed, bitter, and overeating? One mother said… “I didn't know how to be a mother, with all its inherent devotion to the care and feeding of another, and still remain true to my own needs. I remember turning 30, with no idea who I was, what I liked, or whom I had become.” But self-care changed all that. Learning how to mother herself as well as she mothered her children saved her from depression and resentment. She reclaimed her true self, the woman underneath the mother and wife. Self-care enabled her to find her passion, beyond the daily duties of household chores. Many people mistakenly believe that self-care is selfish. But true generosity begins with yourself. You can only give to others what you have inside you; if you are stingy with self-love, care, and proper nurturing, it's impossible to be similarly generous to others. Self-care is what enables you to give with an open heart, free from attachments or expectations. No one but you can make you happy. No one but you can mother you. No one but you can ultimately meet your needs. Have a ‘self-full’ day this Mother’s Day! |
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| Rayeleen Gilbert Yes 2 Life 47 Church Ave, Armadale - 08 9498 3788 Email: rayeleen@yes2life.com.au Web: www.yes2life.com.au |
